You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
