there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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