I am puke
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
