Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
