I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
