I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
