I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
