toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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