We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize