My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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