Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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