what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize