i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
