question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
