shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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