Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
