i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
