if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Blood and glitter go together right?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
