are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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