Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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