Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
That's when you crack a 10am beer
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
