we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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