It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
