if you like me you must not know who I am
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize