dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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