i would punch a child for taco bell
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
