dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Randomize