You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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