Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
