So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
