I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
