Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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