can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
