As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize