Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
