I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize