are you so shy because you have an std?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
