toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
