Will you blow on my dice?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
i've created a new STD.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
