I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
