You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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