Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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