my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
