Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
