The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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