I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
