operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize