ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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