Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Green mimosas i think yes
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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