the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize