On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
They have beer where we have blood.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
