Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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