omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I checked into jail on foursquare
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize