I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
