Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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