Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
