Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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