she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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