If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
