At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just had sex bonerless
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
