My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
