don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
