What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
