You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
