Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize