in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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