Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
