I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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