I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
COCAINE IS GR8
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
