honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just invented taco cereal.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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