No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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