so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
