U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Blow job season was short but glorious.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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