Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Holy sore nipples Batman
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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