it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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