first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
