i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
