I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
