i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
